I Chose You My Dear (contd......) Part 4

GROWING UP TO THE TRUTH

Life was never the same after Tanya came home. She was the centre of attraction and everything she did was like some radically new achievement, which no other human in history had achieved before. Every milestone was faithfully captured on video by a doting father and cherished by a loving mother and grandparents. There was a virtual library of Tanya's life - her smiles, her laughter, her face smeared with cereal, the mischief in her eyes, her playing peek-a-boo with mommy, the first time she crawled, the first time she tried to stand, Tanya trying out her first waddling steps, .......

Shweta was over the moon when she said "ma-ma" for the first time. Daddy was a bit peeved that it was mamma first and not pappa. That too did not take too long in following. Grandpa was "da-da"and grandma was "da-di".

Every morning started out with Grandpa taking the dear granddaughter for a walk. She would look at the trees, flowers, listen to the chirping birds and coo in delight. Grandpa's heart would leap in ecstasy and he would look up proudly at little Tanya perched like an empress on his shoulders.

Life however was not without its ups and downs. Tanya had to pass through all the travails of childhood. Teething pains, tummy aches, no potty days, lack of appetite, fever, and the works. But we humans are a resilient lot and Tanya and family got over these trying times without much ado.

Months passed by and so did years. It was finally time to send Tanya to school. After facing all the travails that parents today face in the process, Tanya was admitted to "Sacred Hearts' Convent". The first day at school was traumatic. There was little Tanya in nursery with a lot of other wailing infants and there were all the mothers outside, some with tears flowing down their faces. After all this was a second cutting of the umbilical cord for most, but not for Shweta. For her, this was the very first time. She could not quite comprehend the idea of sending her baby away from her. But human resilience came to the rescue once again. Tanya got used to being away from momma for a few hours every day, had a few friends in her class and grew quite fond of "teacher aunty", who was her heroine. Everyday she would come home and lisp new nursery rhymes in the most attractive voice and Shweta's heart would fill up with pride.

Things went smoothly, till Tanya was in Std. III. It was then that a storm swept into Shweta's life and took away her peace for a while. As we saw, she was worried about Tanya's silence and withdrawn mien. When repeated efforts to get the matter out of her failed, she had to eventually take her to a paediatric psychiatrist. After a few sessions, during which the doctor had to work really hard to draw Tanya out of her shell, she had some information that came as a real shocker for Anil and Shweta. Tanya had somehow got to know that she was not their biological child. Some children in school (children can be pretty vicious) had teased her saying her parents did not love her, since she was not their own child.

Shweta and Anil had already been advised by the agency that they would eventually have to reveal the truth to Tanya. They had been waiting for an opportune time, when she was a bit older and in a position to understand. They had not, however, bargained for this.

That night, as she was getting Tanya into bed, Shweta without saying anything directly, told her a story of a little child who had been adopted. Tanya listened in silence. At the end, Shweta asked her, why she was looking so sad. The child blurted out "because the parents do not love the child". "What makes you say that"? asked Shweta. That was when the dam burst and the child sobbed out "Some children in my class said, you and daddy don't love me, because you brought me from an orphanage, They said, I am not your daughter". Tears of anger welled up in Shweta's eyes, and she said "Darling, those children are really stupid. Next time they say that to you, just tell them, their parents did not have any choice when they had them. You, my child are very precious to us. We chose you, because we loved you". The child was listening wide eyed. She finally gave Shweta her winsome smile and dropped off to sleep.

I Chose You My Dear (contd......) Part 4

GROWING UP TO THE TRUTH

Life was never the same after Tanya came home. She was the centre of attraction and everything she did was like some radically new achievement, which no other human in history had achieved before. Every milestone was faithfully captured on video by a doting father and cherished by a loving mother and grandparents. There was a virtual library of Tanya's life - her smiles, her laughter, her face smeared with cereal, the mischief in her eyes, her playing peek-a-boo with mommy, the first time she crawled, the first time she tried to stand, Tanya trying out her first waddling steps, .......

Shweta was over the moon when she said "ma-ma" for the first time. Daddy was a bit peeved that it was mamma first and not pappa. That too did not take too long in following. Grandpa was "da-da"and grandma was "da-di".

Every morning started out with Grandpa taking the dear granddaughter for a walk. She would look at the trees, flowers, listen to the chirping birds and coo in delight. Grandpa's heart would leap in ecstasy and he would look up proudly at little Tanya perched like an empress on his shoulders.

Life however was not without its ups and downs. Tanya had to pass through all the travails of childhood. Teething pains, tummy aches, no potty days, lack of appetite, fever, and the works. But we humans are a resilient lot and Tanya and family got over these trying times without much ado.

Months passed by and so did years. It was finally time to send Tanya to school. After facing all the travails that parents today face in the process, Tanya was admitted to "Sacred Hearts' Convent". The first day at school was traumatic. There was little Tanya in nursery with a lot of other wailing infants and there were all the mothers outside, some with tears flowing down their faces. After all this was a second cutting of the umbilical cord for most, but not for Shweta. For her, this was the very first time. She could not quite comprehend the idea of sending her baby away from her. But human resilience came to the rescue once again. Tanya got used to being away from momma for a few hours every day, had a few friends in her class and grew quite fond of "teacher aunty", who was her heroine. Everyday she would come home and lisp new nursery rhymes in the most attractive voice and Shweta's heart would fill up with pride.

Things went smoothly, till Tanya was in Std. III. It was then that a storm swept into Shweta's life and took away her peace for a while. As we saw, she was worried about Tanya's silence and withdrawn mien. When repeated efforts to get the matter out of her failed, she had to eventually take her to a paediatric psychiatrist. After a few sessions, during which the doctor had to work really hard to draw Tanya out of her shell, she had some information that came as a real shocker for Anil and Shweta. Tanya had somehow got to know that she was not their biological child. Some children in school (children can be pretty vicious) had teased her saying her parents did not love her, since she was not their own child.

Shweta and Anil had already been advised by the agency that they would eventually have to reveal the truth to Tanya. They had been waiting for an opportune time, when she was a bit older and in a position to understand. They had not, however, bargained for this.

That night, as she was getting Tanya into bed, Shweta without saying anything directly, told her a story of a little child who had been adopted. Tanya listened in silence. At the end, Shweta asked her, why she was looking so sad. The child blurted out "because the parents do not love the child". "What makes you say that"? asked Shweta. That was when the dam burst and the child sobbed out "Some children in my class said, you and daddy don't love me, because you brought me from an orphanage, They said, I am not your daughter". Tears of anger welled up in Shweta's eyes, and she said "Darling, those children are really stupid. Next time they say that to you, just tell them, their parents did not have any choice when they had them. You, my child are very precious to us. We chose you, because we loved you". The child was listening wide eyed. She finally gave Shweta her winsome smile and dropped off to sleep.

I Chose You My Dear (contd......) Part 3

TANYA COMES HOME

Thus it was that Anil and Shweta decided to adopt a girl child. Both were very socially conscious and they were fortunate to have their respective families' support.
It was the start of a long, excruciating wait and endless encounters with bureaucracy.

Firstly they had to go to an adoption agency and fill in endless forms with numerous columns pertaining to the minutest of their personal and family details. But then who ever said, bringing a child home is an easy process, irrespective of whether it is a biological child or an adopted one? After satisfying themselves that the potential parents were suitable on the face of it, the officials arrived at their place to interview other family members. It was essential for them to check out what kind of a family they were dealing with and whether the child would be welcome in their home. The interview went on for approximately half an hour. Then the officials went to counter check certain details about the family from a couple of neighbours, whom Anil and Shweta had named as references.

Next came the more crucial part, where Anil and Shweta had to give their specifications about the child they would like to adopt. These were recorded, but did not automatically guarantee that they would get a child satisfying all their preferences. Now came the really agonizing part of the wait. Both Anil and Shweta would sit and spend endless hours planning all that they would do with their child, what they would name her, which school she would go to and so on. Their parents would exchange amused looks, which would sometimes reflect a certain anxiety, wondering what would happen if things did not quite go just the way the youngsters had planned. Would they be able to deal with any more disappointments than what they had already been through? But they would just smile at Anil and Shweta in order to boost their confidence.

Days changed to weeks, weeks to months. Finally after 10 months, they got a call from the agency, stating that a child had been found for them and would they please come over next Tuesday to see her? Anil and Shweta's excitement knew no bounds. Every day and every night stretched endlessly and the wait could now only be described as excruciating. They had waited for 10 long months, but Tuesday seemed an age away.

Tuesday dawned bright and beautiful. Anil and Shweta were awake long before sunrise. Rather, one could say they had hardly slept. They were due to report at the agency by 11 a.m. Quite predictably they arrived around half an hour early. They paced up and down the waiting room and kept checking their watches and also the clock on the wall. At around 11.15 a.m. a peon came and signalled to them to go into the office. The officer in charge welcomed them in with a broad smile. What a contrast it was to all those previous occasions when they had dealt with all those stern looking, unfriiendly beaurocrats. The officer signalled the assistant to go and bring in the child. Both sat there holding their breaths and each other's hand. Eventually a child was brought in. Both Anil and Shweta looked up at her. There she was, a chubby baby, 6 months of age, with a mouth like a rosebud and huge dark eyes on her round face. Oh, didn't she just look gorgeous with those sweeping eyelashes and curly mop of hair? Shweta's eyes welled with tears. She held out her hands to the child, and as if on cue, as if they had known each other all along the child jumped into Shweta's arms. Shweta could not stop herself from hugging the child tight and burying her face into the little bundle. All those years of waiting and agonizing just melted away and here she was, holding her very own baby. Anil looked on impassively and reached out awkwardly to touch her.

After completing some more formalities, the family of 3 - father, mother and child left to go home. It was a strange feeling - one of being complete and a real family at last. They arrived home to a rousing welcome. Grandpa and Grandma had decorated the house and welcomed home little Tanya with a traditional "aarti". There was a lot of celebration that day, and nobody could bring themselves to get on with any work. Everyone wanted to spend time with Tanya. She had finally arrived home.