"A Puppet's Life Ends On A String"

So read the headline in the Times of India dated 22nd November 2012.  The news brought a sense of closure to a lot of families whose near and dear ones who had been brutally slain by terrorists on the 26th of November 2008.  

The high drama that had ensued following the taking over of the Taj hotel and a few other buildings in Mumbai had been beamed live across the world by various Indian television channels.  The world had watched the action with bated breath.  One terrorist had been arrested and put to trial.

The trial of the young man had not been any less dramatic.  There was so much irony about the whole situation.  A lot of "evidence" was "examined" despite the fact that he had been seen by billions on television as he went about on a shooting spree.  He was kept in prison under high security - for what purpose, God knows - to prevent him from running away?  Could he have run away?  Would the public have let him take two steps without lynching him and tearing him to pieces?  Security to protect him from the public?  Despite the fact that he had butchered so many people so mercilessly?  And seemed so unrepentant about it?  Despite the fact that the only obvious outcome would be for him to be hanged?

Would any other country for whose cause he was acting have given as fair a trial to an Indian who would have conducted himself in a similar manner on their soil?  He would have been stoned, publicly beheaded, flogged or subjected to any other form of punishment that does not bear thinking of.

Yet our country thought it fit to provide him with a lawyer to fight his case, and if the press be believed five star treatment in jail.  So it was the tax payers' money which was spent to keep a man who killed so many of us alive all these days.  To quote a cliche, this happens only in India.

Having said all of which, there was a sense of deep sadness when one read the news.  Here was a young lad, the son of an impoverished family.  A young boy who had been misled into believing he was doing his country a favour.  A country who did not respond to his plea for a lawyer to fight his case when he was arrested ..... a country which did not respond to the notification about his execution ..... a country which did not claim his body.  His last wish was to meet his family.  A wish which was not fulfilled.  According to the papers his last words were "Allah kasam maaf karna, aisi galti dobara nahi hogi".   What a waste of a young life.  What was the use of such a late repentance and realization that it was a "galti" of a gargantuan proportion?

Maybe this will act as a lesson to other youth going his way ..... a lesson that there is no glory in this kind of death, a lesson that the people for whom you think you are laying down your life do not even acknowledge you once you are trapped, a lesson that not even your family acknowledges you later on.  Or will it?

To Live or ..... - That Is the Question

Life has its strange twists and turns.  Take for instance the fact that I went to get my mother who suffers from dementia to stay with me.  She had been with my sister for a year and I thought it was only fair that I take charge now.  My sister is now a senior citizen herself and has grapples with health issues of her own.  It did not seem far fetched to think that a day would come when she would be forced to send mom to an institution.  This was something I could not bear to think of.

It was precisely to avoid this situation I brought her along with me.  I was really happy to see the change doing her some good - till the 4th day with me.  On that fateful evening I took her for a walk and despite my holding her hand, she tripped and fell, breaking the head of her femur.

What followed was no less than a nightmare.  A hemi-arthroplasty (surgical replacement of the ball of the femur) followed.  She came out of the ICU disoriented, got a urinary tract infection, blood infection, a fever of 105 degrees Celsius, bed sores, her dementia worsened tremendously and she became totally bed ridden.  She needs at least two nurses at a time to turn her over, bathe her, clean her ..... which makes it logistically difficult to keep her at home with professional help.  So I have now ended up in a situation which I wanted to avoid in the first place - having to send her to an institution.

Leaving aside the pros and cons of institutionalization, old age homes etc., I was thinking about her situation and that of many others in our country.  She has two daughters.  My dad was in government service which meant he had access to the central government health scheme.  This makes all the difference when a situation like hospitalization arises.  What do people like us who have no such facility do?  Yes, we do have medical insurance right now.  What happens when we eventually stop earning and can't pay our premiums?  What happens in the event of long drawn out hospitalizations, even if we pay our premiums? What happens when we have no one to do the running around for us?  Can we afford to go to an old age home or to an institution?  OK, may be we can find ourselves a place in a retirement home.  But can everyone afford that?  There are many in this country who live on the brink of existence, lead a hand to mouth existence.  What are they to do, where are they to go?

I don't want to sound morbid, but I cannot help think ..... what happens to the billions of people in this country who are in situations worse than us?  Do we all commit suicide?  We already have farmers committing suicide, unable to pay back their debts, we have students buckling under pressure committing suicide, we have khaps killing young people who decide they want to spend their lives with each other, we have desperate young women who are tortured by husbands and in-laws committing suicide, ......  Is this lack of care in old age and illness going to be one more reason to be added to the list in times to come?  Is it time the government decriminalized suicide?  Or is it high time they did something for people to encourage them to live?

A Getaway To An Unusual Destination In Search Of Inner Peace

Life was getting too monotonous and I was craving a change.  A break was in order and I needed to head out to some destination where I could snatch a few days of peace and tranquility.  While a beach, a historical place, temples or a holiday resort would seem to be the obvious choices, that was not what I wanted.  I seriously wanted to get away from everyone and everything to some place that could calm me down and let me be just by myself and with myself.  A degree of solitude was what I craved.

Although the banks of the Ganga would be a good spot to do "Hari Hari" (chanting the Lord's name), it did not appear to me that I would get much quiet or peace there.  So I decided that I wanted to get away to some ashram where I could do all of the above.  The first choice was the Chinmaya Vibhooti ashram (an ashram of the Chinmaya Mission) located in the Western Ghats in a place called Kolvan (Mulshi district, Pune).  It is about an hour away from Pune by car.  I was anyway planning to visit Pune and this was such a convenient option.

Add to that they were organizing a 5-day Meditation camp beginning on the 4th of September.  Since I love meditating, have already been introduced to the kind of activities and talks at the Chinmaya Mission, I decided to take this on.  This, however, was the first time I would do anything like staying 5 days in an Ashram.  

With many apprehensions (who does not have them when one embarks on something entirely new?) and some excitement I set off to the Ashram on the evening of the 4th.  It was a cool, cloudy day and the drive was absolutely heavenly.  The hills were lush after the recent rains.  I stopped en route for a few pictures.  Not having ever been in this direction, the cab driver stopped a couple of times to ask for directions and to confirm we were headed in the right direction.  The last bit of road was more than a bit "hol(e)y" but we got there with no major problems and in time for the registrations.

Enroute to Kolvan

Chinmaya Vibhooti - A front view

The programme of the day was to start off with Swami Swatmananda's introductory lecture.  However, he was stuck with some programme at Mumbai at the Sandeepani ashram.  So we were shown a video recording of a lecture by Swami Chinmayananda on Chapter VI of the Bhagavad Geeta which he had given in the U.S.  It felt so good to hear his talk after so long.  It was his lectures that drew me towards spirituality.  It was a very nostalgic evening and I could not have asked for anything more on my birthday.  This is something that will stay with me for life.

The next few days were spent practising meditation, listening to lectures on Chapter VI of the Bhagavad Gita and practise of Sadhanas (spiritual disciplines) in daily life, practising solitude, using every spare moment to take pictures of various birds that I saw (some of them for the very first time).  It was also an opportunity to meet many new people and make some new acquaintances and friends.  In short, it was an idyllic 5 days that I got to spend in the lap of Nature.  

Here are some pictures of the place that I would like to share with you.

Chinmaya Maruti Mandir - A front view

Chinmaya Maruti Mandir

View of Chinmaya Vibhooti on the banks of the Walki river

A path leading from the ashram to the river

A view of the central square of the ashram

Ganesha Mandir

View of the mountains covered in clouds from the Ganesha Mandir

It couldn't get more peaceful

The river Walki

Mountains in the mist

As you can see, it could not possibly get more peaceful and tranquiller than this.  This was the perfect antidote to the bustle of daily life, the stresses and strains of routine life.  The fresh air, cool , lush surroundings, the pure and pristine atmosphere were all sufficient to bring a semblance of one's real self to oneself.  I always maintain that being with Nature, observing and appreciating all that has been put here by the Creator for our benefit is the best worship we can render unto Him.

Why, oh why?

You don't want to live you say
You wish you were never born
Why do you have to live, grow old
Go through all these ups and downs

I wish I had answers to these my friend
I wish I only knew
If only it were in our hands
To decide what we wanted to do

I could talk to you of Karma
I could talk to you of souls
Of rebirths and reincarnations
Of we being part of that whole

All I can say to you my dear
Is I know I am here today
I know I may have to be here for long
Before I go another way

It helps me not to groan and moan
And make my life a pain
For kith and kin and friends and self
T'will all be but in vain

I need to live with myself
Before others can live with me
Tell me my friend how I could ever do that
If I just couldn't love me

That is why my dear
I need to laugh through joys and pain
Through clouds, through rain, through sunshine
Through losses or through gain

Let me bring joy to others
Let me laugh through joys or tears
Let me bring joy unto myself
And dispel my irrational fears

For yesterday is dead
Tomorrow is yet to be
Today is all that I have
With that let me happy be

The Lighthouse and I and Other Ramblings

From Google images

 

Life sometimes sucks.   Yes, it does for all of us. Even when we try to kid each other, trying to convince ourselves about how "privileged" we are to have been born human on this planet. Maybe true - sometimes - but not when one is feeling down in the dumps. When life sucks, some of us do wish we were never born. We look for some source of inspiration or even some means of escape, depending on how we are mentally tuned at that moment. We wonder why we are here at all. We try to comfort ourselves - try to convince ourselves that there is a reason why we have been put on earth. I certainly wonder, then, what I am doing with my life. Still trying to figure out my raison d'être (reason for existence). There must be some reason which we don't know I am told. I agree, maybe I shall find my life made a difference to someone, sometime. But the catch is, it is equally possible that my life did make a difference to someone, somewhere but I shall never know. I was not meant to know, which means I shall still be left with the question with which I started out. 

I saw a lovely card this morning on a networking site which said 

Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.

    -Anne Lamott

Well, I guess, since everything happens for good, there is a good reason why I should be kept within the four walls of the house. Whatever purpose I was meant to serve will probably be served very well within those four walls or probably is already being served. 

 It is good, to practice distancing oneself from the ego and just viewing oneself as a third person on the stage. Stop thinking of oneself as the "doer". Thinking one is the "doer" leads to a lot of pain. The moment one switches to thinking of oneself as the instrument in the hands of the DOER, one realizes that one is that lighthouse which shines not of its own doing, but only because the caretaker came and switched on the light. So has my CARETAKER switched me on, so that I am here to do whatever it was I was supposed to do. My job is to stand at the edge of the island shining come rain or sunshine and hope that some boat sees me shining there and comes in safely to anchor.

So yes, I shall stand and shine for all time to come, till the CARETAKER thinks it is morning and switches off my light. 

Thanks dear friend for waking me up to reality this morning with your status.  It will certainly carry me a little longer till the next time I wonder what I am doing on earth. That is part of being human.

I don't think it is wrong or bad to ask oneself this question once in a while. It spurs one on to think beyond the everyday, material boundaries of what we refer to as "life". It is good to think of this as being a school, where we come to learn some lessons. Life is an excellent if sometimes a bit ruthlessly harsh teacher. In that case, I wonder what lessons I have come here to learn from her. One of the lessons that Life nudges us endlessly into learning is to give up the EGO. This is true for EACH ONE of us. Till we do so, she just keeps hurting us so much, that we are forced to sit up and take notice.    (Life is allowed to do that, unlike the kind of school teachers we know). There are other lessons which are specific for each individual. I believe in rebirth and karma. So I believe, there were some lessons from the past that need to be relearned, reevaluated and some tests to be taken. A couple of important lessons I seem to need to learn seem to be how to control my anger and how to be patient. I love Life's teaching methods (yes, even if it means having my head flattened out every morning)  .   (As a teacher myself, I can't help examine her methods ). What she says is: I shall put you in various situations. Firstly try to figure out what I am trying to teach you. If you can figure that out, question it. Don't accept anything blindly. However, at the end, I shall see to it that you jolly well agree with me.  I seem to be a student who sleeps through her lessons. Only on the day of the exam will it really be revealed what I have learned and what I have not. 

With due respects to Tennyson: "Our's not to question why, our's not to reason why, our's but to do and die.

"Thank God it was me"!

“Why me”, she cried. “Why me”?

Her child had just died

“What did I do”?

There was no reply.

Her father lay ill on the hospital bed

It was not long before they pronounced him dead

Of a disease much afeared

Life had once again taken away someone who was so dear

God, you made my father suffer, please spare my mom

Let no ill health near her come

God laughed, kept her mother in good physical health

But illness struck her mind, a person's greatest wealth

“Why me” she did not cry again

Although her heart was ridden with pain

“Why me” was something she could never know

So the best way out was to let it go

But it appeared life with her was not done

It seemed as if she always lost and life always won

Now ill health caused her to give up her job

She took it squarely on the chin with not so much as a sob

For one can cry, one can mourn

From grief one can be utterly torn

But life she realized must go on

A new woman had from her been born

She suddenly found she had a lot of time

She found words to express herself in prose as well as rhyme

She found time to look at the world around

New birds, glorious sunsets, life's meaning profound

Peace and happiness were now with her to stay

Let life hit out at her as hard as it may

Happiness she realized she did not have to run behind

All she had to do was to look within peace to find

“Thank God it was me”she happily cried

She'd never have realized no matter how hard she tried

Life had given her a million occasions

To understand its most important lessons

Life's vicissitudes bring a golden chance

To take at its real meaning a glance

Never despair when it gives you a blow

You'll learn your lessons no matter how slow

Thus you take a step on your spiritual path

As your raise yourself from the aftermath

Of a lesson taught by a teacher most stern

Who knows just what you need to learn

Time to stand and stare

"What is this life if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare".

How many times have I kept repeating the above lines which resonates with a craving to have a bit of time to be able to enjoy the little of joys of life! Life has a way of catching up and tying each of us down to our routines in such a way that we are unable to look beyond our noses, our daily routines, responsibilities and problems. Life stops being “life” and deteriorates into being nothing more a day to day existence, a monotonous grind.

The past couple of years have wrought a lot of changes in mine. Life has not been what it used to be - in more ways than one. My life which would start out with going to work, doing housework, running errands on my scooter, visiting friends - a hectic pace to put it in short ..... till I was laid up with a severe spinal problem. I was unable to go to work any more or do very much on my own at home. Had to enlist the help of domestic staff to ensure groceries and vegetables were bought, cooking was done, the house was maintained in presentable state .....

BUT there were a lot of other things that changed too. Along with my routine, my activities and my perspective of life underwent a radical change. Firstly I changed from an A type personality to a B type and for that I have no regrets.

Life has grounded me physically for a while, but it has put me in a position where I can say (with due apologies to the poet W.H. Davies) : "I enjoy this life with nary a care, I have plenty of time to stand and stare". And what I see when I stare, hear when I listen has filled me with a joy which nothing else, no riches on earth could provide me with.

This has been the time when I have experimented with writing – something which I always fancied doing, but never had the time or ideas for. I have witnessed some glorious sunsets, observed the various flowers and trees around me. This year has also brought a host of birds to my doorstep and I have enjoyed the sheer bliss of listening to their tantalizing calls, running to the window or balcony to spot them. And I have seen the most beautiful birds outside of picture books and National Geographic. I have had the opportunity to bring out my camera and capture these moments for posterity. I was able to be at home, bring my mom to stay with me and look after her for a couple of years. I got to improve my computer skills, sign onto a few websites, make a lot of new friends ..... These are the friends I chat with almost every day, friends who make me laugh and help keep my spirits up.

This time has taught me to be cheerful and patient. It has really opened my eyes and made me realize from my heart that every adversity is a mixed blessing. When God closes one door, he opens another. Both have to go hand in hand - you lose something, you gain another. And believe me, there is a huge difference between hearing this said, believing in it and really and truly experiencing it.

So I am really grateful to have been put through the grinder to learn these important lessons in life. I am grateful that I had to stop work for a while, otherwise I would never have had the time or energy to stand and stare.

Science and the scientific spirit

Of late I have been preoccupied with a lot of interesting phenomena of the paranormal kinds. I would go to the extent of admitting a degree of obsession with these topics, my favourites being Near Death Experiences (NDEs), Out of the Body Experiences (OBEs), Rebirth/Reincarnation.

Do I believe in these? If I have to reply very honestly, I am very intrigued, evidence which is being published seems strangely convincing, but if asked for a yes/no, I would have to say "I don't know". I would like to believe in it. I want to believe in it. My personal leanings would be towards belief. However, that is entirely besides the point. 

Any attempt at discussions with most people leads to one of two answers - a total belief (largely based on religious convictions and/or based on available evidence) or an outright denial. It is only a handful of people so far who have said "I don't know - maybe, may not be".

I have nothing against the people who disbelieve. My only arguments are against their reasons which are essentially the same as for a question like "Is there a God"? It would be, there is no "proof" orno "evidence" for such a phenomenon. They would go out of their way to give some neurochemical explanation to shrug off the evidence based on case studies which is being published these days. Never mind the fact that their explanation does not necessarily disprove the phenomenon. Does lack of evidence or proof constitute valid reason to negate a theory?

I wonder: why is it that we can accept mathematical equations which are "empirically formulated", but not other evidence. (I might be absolutely stupid, but frankly an entity like "pi" whose value is 3.14 to me appears to be empirically fixed. Where did they dream up the value from? The level of mathematics I studied in school/junior college did not give me any explanation on how it was derived. And I am sure it is the same for anyone whose field of expertise is not mathematics. But we have accepted this value "empirically" nonetheless and got through school quite uneventfully by accepting it as it is. Is there any "proof" for this value? There might be, but my level of knowledge in the field or the lack of it does not let me understand it. 

On what grounds can I refute studies which are published by leading psychiatrists or experts in the field? What is my level of expertise in this area)? 

Fair enough, one wants to think of possible alternative explanations - neurons are triggering all over the place, the person is in an altered state of consciousness - be it due to medication, trauma, level of suggestibility of the subject - whatsoever. But what is the harm in accepting that the other side may also be true? That there are many things we do not know and may not know for centuries to come, that there could be a dimension beyond our comprehension, beyond our ability to prove? 

The earth was spherical even before it was proved to be so. (How many people lost their lives because they said it was)! The earth did rotate around the sun even before someone came along and proved it. Until then anyone who said it was not the sun that rotated around the earth was accused of heresy with "grave" (pun intended) consequences. Gravity existed even before the apple landed on Newton's head. The proof came only later and then only on a chance. If that apple had not decided to fall off the branch on Newton's head, there is a possibility that the existence of gravity may not have been discovered for decades or centuries. Would that mean there was no gravity? Our ancients talked of "prana" and "vayu". How did we accept the existence of these without the proof?

Looking at the flip side of the coin, what makes an organization like NASA spend so many billions or trillions of dollars on launching space missions looking for life on other planets? Why don't they say, "We have never seen any such creatures so far. So they can't exist"? (Ironically all this goes on while "rationalists" try to claim that sightings of UFOs and extraterrestrials are fraudulent and reported by highly suggestible people). Isn't this a contradiction in terms of "science"? You spend so much of money trying to find life on other planets, but when someone says they have seen or photographed unidentified spacecrafts, you say it is rubbish. 

That there is no proof of NDEs or OBEs or of a "God" (definitions of "God" could vary and which definition is right or wrong is not the point of this discussion) does not necessarily mean that they do not exist. It only means that we do not have the means today to prove or to disprove their existence.

The very spirit of science demands that we approach any possibility with an open mind. And all such possibilities are valid unless proven to be absolute, incontrovertible impossibilities.

Thevile Anante Taisechi Rahave

I suppose all of us wake up sometimes with a tune playing in the mind, which then keeps playing like a scratched CD. Today I have woken up to the tune of "Thevile Anante Taisechi Rahave, Chitti Asu Dyave Samadhan". (A strange thing - the mind. One never knows what it churns up, when or why - am not complaining today though. It has started my day on a blessed note.)

This line used to feature in one of the bhajans my neighbours used to sing every Sunday morning. This is a famous line by Sant Tukaram of Maharashtra (see below)

This is one of the most beautiful one liners by Tukaram. It contains the simplest and profoundest truths of life and means "Be as the Lord meant you to be, Let there be "Samadhan" (satisfaction, contentment) in your mind.

Look at babies. What do they want? What do they ask for? Do they want wealth, fancy clothes, fancy toys? All they need is for their hunger to be appeased. Finito.

What happens as they grow up? They see so many people with so many things that take their fancy, they want everything. Covetousness (the desire to have something one does not have) takes over.

Dissatisfaction and discontent faithfully tag people everyday of their lives. While I can understand people who are really poor, living in abject conditions being discontented, ironically it is these very people who appear to live contentedly with what little they have. How many times have seen little kids on the streets, smeared with dirt and still laughing and smiling, sometimes even through their tears? It takes very little to make them happy. As people start acquiring more, the greed for more is born. Even within the working class, aspirations rise in direct proportion to living conditions (of course, one cannot deny that the reverse also holds true and is also necessary for them to have a decent life style. Let me clarify here, this is not to say that people should continue to live in poverty - everyone has a right to live well). It is the definition of "living well" which is the question here. I somehow wonder at the dissatisfaction born of sheer greed in people who already have everything one can wish for and more than can use. Strangely enough, it is the very people who have power and who classify amongst the richest in the world who keep chasing "more".

How much does a person need? The fact is we can travel only in one car at a time - it does not matter if we own 50 or 100 cars. We cannot use all of them at one time. Try stuffing in more than you need, even your stomach will protest. You can only wear one set of clothes and one pair of shoes at one time. For all her collection of shoes this rule held true even for Imelda Marcos and all she got at the end was to get hauled over the coals. We need homes that can accommodate us and our loved ones. Do we really need 60 storey buildings with helipads, parking lots and the works? The question is are people satisfied even with this? Soon they realize the vastu of such homes is not suitable and set about building another such monstrosity.

And the greatest irony is after earning all this wealth - by means fair or foul - people lose their peace of mind. Then starts the quest for "spiritual gurus" - often people who are as fallible as their shishyas - a classic case of the blind purporting to lead the blind.

Reminds me of a lovely poem which brings a lump to the throat every time I try to recite it.

The Miller of Dee

There was a jolly miller once lived on the river Dee,

He worked and sang from morn' till night,

No lark more blithe than he

And this the burden of his song, forever used to be

"I envy nobody, no not I, and nobody envies me"

Thou'rt wrong my friend, said Old King Hal,

Thou'rt wrong as wrong can be

For could my heart be lithe as thine

I'd gladly change with thee

And tell me now what makes thee sing

With voice so loud and free

For I am sad while I am king beside the river Dee

The miller smiled and doff'd his cap

"I earn my bread" quote he

"I love my wife, I love my friend, I love my children three

I owe no penny I cannot pay

I thank the river Dee

That turns the mill, that grinds the corn, that feeds my babes and me"

"Good friend" said Hal and sighed the while

"Farewell and happy be

And say no more if thou'dst be true

That no one envies thee

Thy mealy cap is worth my crown

Thy mill my kingdom's fee

Such men as thou as thou are England's boast

Oh miller of the Dee".

Sant Tukaram (1608–1650) was a prominent Varkari Sant and spiritual poet during a Bhakti movement in India.

Sant Tukaram^[1] was born and lived most of his life in Dehu, a town close to Pune in Mahārāshtra, India. He was born to a couple with the family name "More", the descendent of the Mourya Clan (Āmbile) with first names Bolhobā and Kanakāi. In accordance with an ancient Indian tradition, Tukaram's family name is rarely used in identifying him. His real name is Tukaram Vhilhoba Aambe. Rather, in accord with another tradition in India of assigning the epithet "sant" (संत) to persons regarded as thoroughly saintly, Tukaram is commonly known in Maharashtra as Sant Tukaram (संत तुकाराम). He is known asBhakta Tukaram to South Indian people.  (Source:  Wikipedia)

The Sanity of Insanity

Are all the insane really insane
And the sane really sane?
Or is it just our imagination
Or the phases wax and wane?

I have for you just one question,
Please tell me if you can.
Who decides who is insane
And who the sane man?

If life is but an illusion,
Everything springs from our imagination,
And if living in that perpetual state is sanity
Then shouldn't we redefine insanity?

Who is to say our illusions
Are more legitimate than their delusions
Imaginations or even hallucinations?
It's all a matter of perceptions.

And if this logic we accept,
Then all are insane except 
The Old Man laughing above
While he makes us all his puppets.

If this truth we realize,
All “sane” people would be wise
Enough this simple fact to learn to accept,
No one on earth is born perfect.

So why can't we be more humane
To those the “sane” consider “insane”?
We know not when we cross the border
That should to us be pretty plain.

The line in-between is fine
We could cross over any time,
Or the border could move either way
Which side would we be on that day?

For what one sees as white
May not to another seem so bright.
He may see a shade of gray
Whose perception is right, tell me, pray?

So let's not mock at those who are yonder
But take time off the fact to ponder,
That to remain perfectly sane
We all need a streak of the insane

We need a streak of the bizarre
To keep us as sane as we are,
Or at least as sane as we seem
In this life that is but a dream.

Without that streak of insanity
There would be no sanity.
Truly no one is sane or insane
Let's stop making such empty claims.

When Humanity Triumphs Over Adversities

http://gspirittv.com/vshare/view/436/the-fragrant-spirit-of-life/

I first saw this video clip on facebook.  Over the years one gets inured to seeing such sights frequently on various clips on the net.  For whatever it was worth, I decided to check  it out.  

There is no two ways about the fact that it is very disturbing.  That so many millions could be dying this way in various corners is appalling.  The comment on the insensitivity of people who waste food in the face of such deprivation of a large section of the world's population is now almost a cliche.  I could not feel irritated at the lady who started sobbing loudly when the children were lying helplessly there.  It almost seemed to me to be making a spectacle of their fate.

But as soon as the older child stepped onto the scene (she was barely a year older than the two children herself), the whole mood of the film changed for me.  I was speechless at the sight of this child who was so responsible - a little mother to her two siblings - and the love and care with which she bathed them and laid them out to dry.  Words fail me.  She looks pretty emaciated herself.  Yet she first gives her starving siblings a cracker each before taking one herself.

Just what instinct could one put this down to?  A maternal instinct?  Or the very basic human instinct to protect its own species in times of adversities?  The indomitable spirit of human kind?  I can't find the answer to these questions.  It certainly seems to be beyond all human understanding - plain unselfish love.  This is what human nature is supposed to be all about?

How have we, who were meant to be like this little girl, become so selfish and self-centred as we are?  Is it that as soon as we get enough for our basic necessities, we start getting possessive and protective of it and become beasts in human clothing?  Do we have to be fighting for our basic survival before we start thinking of others and their needs before ours?  Rather contradictory isn't it?

In Search of Happiness

It is a Sunday. I wake up early in the morning. Having woken up early, I can not get back to sleep. There are a lot of ssues troubling my mind. Ask me to pinpoint one and I am severely challenged. There is a general feeling of dissatisfaction which seeps through my thoughts, leaving me disturbed and unhappy. I get up and walk across to the window. From there I can look onto the park outside. It is still fairly dark, but I can make out figures going for a morning walk.

I get ready, get dressed and am downstairs in about 20 minutes. Surely a walk around the park would do me some good. I do about 10 brisk rounds of about half a kilometre each. Why am I still so disturbed? What do I lack? I have a home, I have a family which loves me and takes care of me, I get good food to eat (the evidence for this is only too evident – necessitating this self-flagellation every morning ), I have a wardrobe full of good clothes to wear. What is it then that is lacking? I have a job which is not dis-satisfactory. It is fairly challenging and keeps me busy for most of the day. I haved pmestic help at home to allow me to concentrate on my career. Why am I still unhappy? Well, to sum it up, I am looking for that elusive creature called “happiness”.

It is fairly late in the evening. I am going for a walk along the neighbouring street. On the other side of the road is a sprawling shanty town. Lots of people live there. Nearby is a huge open nallah flowing past. The stench is unbearable. Outside the meagre tenements are long ropes tied across, on which clothes are hung out to dry. The path between the line of shanties is a narrow, uncemented road (if one can call it that - it would be more apt to call it a dirt track) full of potholes. I notice a few women sitting around the steps to one of the homes and chatting. One is combing the other's hair. The other is narrating some story. Suddenly there is a burst of laughter and a third one starts singing something. There is something about the scene that transfixes me and stops me in my tracks. The women are quite shabbily dressed. They are pretty poor. Possibly they work in 2-3 houses to earn a very measly salary. God knows what their husbands are like or how they treat them. Quite likely, the men take away their earnings and drink, come back sozzled and beat them up. Not an unusual scenario in that socio-economic group. They wear sarees which are hand-me-downs. Then what is it that makes them so happy and contented?

Around these women there is a group of kids, around 3-5 years old, laughing, playing, bellies protruding, only minimally clothed, snot running out of their noses. One of them stops in his steps and looks up at me with wide eyes full of curiosity. I contrast them with the children of my friends, who are so well-off. They have everything that money and doting parents could buy them. Still they are eternally complaining.

My mind goes back to the days when I used to attend Vedanta classes in the evenings. I remember a story told by Swamiji. A man (around 60 years old) is running along a beach wearing his shorts and vest. He is very trim and fit. As he runs, he comes across a young man (in his 20s) sitting on the beach, watching the waves and listening to the music of the sea. The elderly man stops by and asks the young man, what he thinks he is doing lazing like that at his age. He gives him a lecture and tells him he should be active and should go out for a run. So the young fellow asks him why. The old man says, so you will be fit enough to work hard, earn a lot of money, make your family happy, save a lot and then when you are retired, you can go on a holiday and enjoy yourself and be happy. The young man looks at the older one puzzled and says “Why do I have to do all that to be happy? I am already happy just sitting here and watching the waves. Just listen to their delightful music”.

As I remember that story, the truth hits me with renewed force. All our lives we keep running, trying to chase happiness when it is already inside us. Happiness is always with us, but we don't realize it and keep looking for it all around. It is like the hindi proverb “Bagal mein chora, gaon bhar dhindhora” meaning the groom is right next door and you keep looking for him all over he town. In this case happiness is the elusive “chora” or the groom. In our quest to earn more and achieve more, in the mistaken notion that these are the means to happiness, we miss the basic essence of living, and as a result feel constantly discontented. It is time to wake up and keep reminding ourselves of this truth, every time we feel down and out.

mr. and mrs. crow and other stories

Long ago, I remember reading an interview with the famous cartoonist R.K. Laxman in the newspaper. To the question "What do you do in your free time?", he answered "I watch crows". I was quite surprised. What on earth did he find so fascinating about crows. It could certainly not be their beauty.

Yesterday, when walking past a building where my old institute was situated, I was reminded of a sight that I

had witnessed sitting at the window of the staff room. This institute is situated in a very posh, green area of the city. It was an old building and the window of the staff room looked out onto a very big tree. There were a lot of monkeys around and I spent many an hour watching their antics (all the time making sure the windows were closed, of course).

However, one afternoon, when I was sitting in a ruminative mood, looking out of the window, I noticed a pair of crows sitting on a branch of the tree.

As I was watching, one of the crows (let us call her Mrs. Crow) went sat beside the other one (Mr. Crow) and stretched out its neck to be scratched. Mr. Crow very obligingly scratched Mrs. Crow on the neck. Then he went back to his business of looking all around. Mrs. Crow edged closer to him and offered her neck once again. Once again Mr. Crow obliged. This happened 3-4 times.  The fifth time round, Mr. Crow seemed to get tired of the game and went and perched on another branch.

Mrs. Crow's ego was hurt. She sat wearing a very hurt look and looked around for about 2 minutes, waiting for Mr. Crow to come back and make up. When Mr. Crow showed no such intentions, she decided to take things right into her own hands, or should I say under her own wings, flew right up to him and very determinedly stuck her neck right under his beak.

I just could not believe what I had just seen .  My eyes just stopped short of popping out. This was the first time I had witnessed a show of this sort. Mr. R.K. Laxman, certainly knew what he was talking about, and so did all the narrators of the stories from the Panchatantra.

I have subsequently had experiences of crows, which have challenged my authority over my own garden. I have a balcony garden with a lot of potted plants. I do have a lot of trouble with squirrels, but I had never bargained for trouble with crows which decide that the leaves of my plants are more delectable than any in the park opposite or in anyone else's balcony garden. Initially I tried to shoo away the crows. Then (I shall admit at the risk of sounding like I have absolutely copped it ) I tried to talk to the crows, telling them very politely to go away (I have heard that plants and beasts respond to feelings and understand the other person's feelings). All I got back was a very defiant look, like it was saying "let's see what you can do if I don't". I was really furious. But I was rather uncertain about really shooing them away (who knows, which ancestor has chosen to visit me - I really can't risk hurting their feelings or incurring their wrath). Finally the crows emerged victorious and I had to eat humble pie.

P.S.  Images from the internet.