O Zis Inglish Tung

I alvays vant to lern nu languages. No, my speling is not bad. Zis is European Inglish.  
Rid zis:

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replased with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they woud go.

By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v." During ze fifz yer, ze unesasary "o" kan be droped from vords containing "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinatins of leters.

Und after ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vonted in ze first plas.

As part of the negotiations, the British and American government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement. Consequently, they have adopted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as European English (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c."

I zot I alredy nu Inglish. But no, zey sayz I dont. I ned to learn Inglish agen. Sory stat of afairs. I never zot I vud hav to lern, sory relern a languag so lat in lif. 

But vot a woman has to do, a woman has to do. So I am lerning zis nu vershun of European Inglish al over agen. As if British Inglish vos not bad enuf. So I am lerning zis nu vershun of European Inglish al over agen. As if British Inglish vos not bad enuf. 

Zer is gud sid to al zis. Zis nu Inglish has German fazer and Inglish mozer. I no a litl German. So zis internashunal hibrid not very dificult. 

Olso, bing a member of varius sochul netvorking sit and also moderatorin on a popular ledis sit helped me lern zis nu vershun of “Gerlish” or “Ingman” (sum Inglish bard sed "Vot's in a nem"?) very esily. Becoz meny members rit in SMS/Chat languag vich is short cut. Zank u ILits.  U just mad my lif very esy.  So vot u say? Am I doing gud job of lerning European Inglish? Am I gud studentin?