My dearest Pallavi,
What a wonderful bit of
news you have given us. Finally we are going to be proud
grandparents. This was the day I have always been looking forward
to, though to tell you the truth, I still find it funny to think of
myself as a grand-ma.
I have barely gotten used
to the idea of being mom to a grown up daughter. It seems just like
yesterday that I brought home a little pink bundle of joy that
brought so much life and happiness into our home and hearts. How
time flies! Before I knew it, you were ready to leave home to go to
university. On one hand my instincts wanted to hold you back and
keep you safe and sound at home within eye-sight; but mercifully
better sense prevailed. I did not want to clip your wings. I wanted
you to go out into the world, establish your own identity and become
a confident, young woman of the world. Believe me, it was not easy.
But today I am more than glad that I let you go. Today we are proud
to be known as your parents rather than the other way round.
Soon you will be opening
a new chapter of your life. You will soon be a mother yourself.
Goodness, the idea feels so strange. My little girl ....... You
know I feel like the “Father of the bride” when she announces she
is going to get married.
You are going to face a
whole lot of challenges as one. But facing challenges is nothing new
to you. In fact you positively thrive on them. “The moment a
child is born, a mother is born” it is said. This being your first
child, there will be lot of things for you to learn. Motherhood
brings with it a lot of joy, but then it also brings a lot of
responsibilities, heartbreaks and sleepless nights. To start with,
the arrival of a baby is going to change your life and turn it upside
down. You will not quite know what hit you.
Bringing up a child in
today's world is no mean task. First of all you are going to have to
decide what you want to do with your career. My “Superwoman”
high flying executive in a multi-national company, you are used to
jet-setting round the world. You are used to your independence and
to your financial independence. Have you given a thought to whether
you will continue to work after the baby is born and if so, how soon
you will return to work? This decision is going to tear you apart.
Giving up your job to be with the little one would be rewarding in a
way. A baby is not going to remain one for ever. If you lose out on
these precious moments of her growing up, you will have lost out on
them for ever. I am always willing to drop everything on a dime and
come to help you look after the baby. But would you like to lose out
on these precious years? This is something you need to decide for
yourself. The decision will be entirely yours (and of course your
husband's – it has to be a joint decision). Rest assured, dad and
I will support you whichever way you decide. (By the way, let me
mention, you might be boss at work, but you will soon have a little
boss at home. You will be at her beck and call and she will twist
you round her little finger, but you will enjoy every bit of it).
If you have any plans of
going back to work, you better start planning for baby care at home.
My services are always available, but let me warn you I am not as
energetic as I used to be. I would need help in the form of a maid
to do the running around. I shall be very glad to keep an eye on her
and keep the little one occupied. If you have any other ideas, you
are welcome to do accordingly.
This will only be the
start. Needless to say, other challenges in the form of school
admissions, college admissions etc. will always be there, but these
will be trifles when compared to some other major issues that will
pop up. I shall not even go into the sleepless nights, the heart
aches, the illnesses etc. Those are things that every mother has
faced over the generations. You will find plenty of guidance for
those issues through books, friends, mom, mom-in-law ........ But
as
a
mother
in
the
21st
century,
you
will
be
faced
with
an
entirely
new
set
of
challenges
that
we
of
the
past
generations
did
not
face.
First and foremost you
are going to face a dilemma about what values you are going to give
your child. On one hand you have grown up with the highest moral
values and you are pretty scrupulous in living by them. On the other
hand we live in a highly corrupt world and children are going to be
exposed to various forms of corruption outside the house. Bring them
up to be scrupulously honest and straight forward, they might end up
being losers in the real world. On the other hand you cannot bring
yourself to teach them to be crooked either. So what do you tell
them? Or do you tell them what you believe and then let them go
figure the rest out themselves????? Not an easy decision. I admit,
I am glad I don't have to face this one myself.
My pumpkin (that is what
an “all-rounder” is, isn't it?), I don't know how you feel about
this, but I never pushed you to be a high achiever. I always
focussed on your growing up to be a well-rounded personality, a happy
child. It is a different matter that you had an academic bent of
mind and did exceedingly well in your studies. Reality is going to
be quite different for your child. She is going to grow up in a
highly competitive, cut-throat world. Like it or not, you will have
to push to compete to some extent. To what extent would be something
that you will have to decide. Bringing her up to be a balanced
personality in the midst of such competitiveness will not be an easy
task my girl, but it is something you will have to
do. I
am
sure you
would
not
want
to
bring
up
a
book
worm
who
has
no
other
social
skills.
As
if
all
this
were
not
enough,
you
will
of
course
have
to
contend
with
a
whole
lot
of
issues
like
making
sure
your
child
is
safe
and
in
good
company.
The
advent
of
the
internet
era
has
not
done
anything
to
make
things
easy
in
that
respect.
While
it
has
literally
laid
open
up
a
world
of
information
at
the
tip
of
one's
fingers,
it
has
also
literally
brought
predators
into
our
homes
through
open
“windows”.
Controlling
your
children's
TV
viewing
habits
and
monitoring
what
they
access
on
internet
is
going
to
be
a
constant
policing
job
which
you will have to do very
subtly,
so
as
not
to
make
it
too
obvious. You will have to learn the art of being a friend to your teenage children, a confidante to whom they can turn whenever they feel the need for help and friendly advice. But never let them forget that you are their parent first and then their friend. They must learn to respect your authority, otherwise you will be in for big time trouble.
Bringing
up
a
girl
child
would
bring
with
it
a
whole
lot
of
anxieties.
Ask
me,
I
should
know.
You
would
die
a
million
deaths
every
time
she
is
late
coming
home.
How many times have I sat watching the clock, chewing my nails,
waiting for you to return home? I would not be surprised if God had
started using ear-plugs to shut me out every time I so much as said
“G..”!!!!! However,
difficult it is, I am sure you
will
not
not
ever
try
to
curtail
her
freedom.
She
has
as
much
of
a
right
to
live
her
life
to
the
fullest
as
any
man.
Living
life
in
fear
is
not
living.
It
is
sheer
existence
which
is
just
not
worth
the
while.
Lay
out
rules.
Keep them simple and balanced. Allow her a
plenty of
freedom.
But teach her to understand that freedom comes with responsibility.
Bring her up to
stand
up
for
herself,
to
fight
her
own
battles
for
justice
and
fairness
and
to
uphold
her
own
dignity.
No
easy
task,
but
I
am
sure
you
will
admit
we
did
not
do
too
badly
with
you.
I
am
sure
you
will
do
a
wonderful
job
with
your
daughter.
Should
it
be
a
boy,
you
will
need
to
ensure
that
you
bring
him
up
to
be
a
decent
human
being
who
learns
to
respect
women
and
treat
them
well.
Make
sure
you
bring
him
up
with
the
same
degree
of
discipline
as
you
would
your
daughter.
He
will
need
to
learn
that
he
does
not
have
any
special
privileges
just
by
virtue
of
his
gender.
I
think
that
is
quite
enough
for
now
dear.
I
have
no
intention
of
scaring
you.
I
only
want
to
make
sure
that
you
are
fully
prepared
– mentally
and
emotionally
– to
be
a
modern
day
mother.
I
know
you
are
much
smarter
than
me
and
think
10
steps
ahead
of
me
– always
– but
still,
I
do
hope
you
will
understand
my
need
to
prepare
you.
I
promise
you,
you
will
be
doing
this
in
another
25
years
time.
Waiting
eagerly
for
the
new
member
of
the
family
and
wishing
you
all
the
best.
Lots
and
lots
of
love
to
the
two
and
a
half
of
you.
This blog has been submitted for the 4th Annual International Women's Day Contest hosted by Indusladies.com
This blog has been submitted for the 4th Annual International Women's Day Contest hosted by Indusladies.com
