O Zis Inglish Tung

I alvays vant to lern nu languages. No, my speling is not bad. Zis is European Inglish.  
Rid zis:

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replased with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they woud go.

By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v." During ze fifz yer, ze unesasary "o" kan be droped from vords containing "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinatins of leters.

Und after ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vonted in ze first plas.

As part of the negotiations, the British and American government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement. Consequently, they have adopted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as European English (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c."

I zot I alredy nu Inglish. But no, zey sayz I dont. I ned to learn Inglish agen. Sory stat of afairs. I never zot I vud hav to lern, sory relern a languag so lat in lif. 

But vot a woman has to do, a woman has to do. So I am lerning zis nu vershun of European Inglish al over agen. As if British Inglish vos not bad enuf. So I am lerning zis nu vershun of European Inglish al over agen. As if British Inglish vos not bad enuf. 

Zer is gud sid to al zis. Zis nu Inglish has German fazer and Inglish mozer. I no a litl German. So zis internashunal hibrid not very dificult. 

Olso, bing a member of varius sochul netvorking sit and also moderatorin on a popular ledis sit helped me lern zis nu vershun of “Gerlish” or “Ingman” (sum Inglish bard sed "Vot's in a nem"?) very esily. Becoz meny members rit in SMS/Chat languag vich is short cut. Zank u ILits.  U just mad my lif very esy.  So vot u say? Am I doing gud job of lerning European Inglish? Am I gud studentin?

A Conversation

• How is your health? 
• I'm doing well, tell me how are you?
• Have you had your lunch?
• Yes, what about you?
• No, we have to eat still. How is your health?
• Amma, I'm doing fine. Tell me what are you doing?
• I'm talking to you.
•  . (Well, was that not obvious? What a silly question to ask! Silly me!) What did you do today?
• What do I do everyday? I eat, I drink, I sit around and get fat. And I trouble everyone around me. What news at your place?
• Nothing much is happening here ma. You tell me something. What is happening there?
• Have you had your lunch?
• Yes ma, I have had my lunch. What is the menu there today?
• What is there today? (Thinks). There is vegetable, (struggles to remember).....
• What vegetable has Sister made?
• (Thinks). She has made some vegetable. How is your health?
• Amma I am OK.
• How is your pain?
• It is still there.
• Are you taking your medicines?
• Yes, I am taking all my medicines.
• Take care of your health. Eat well. Don't go and hit yourself somewhere. Don't go roaming around unnecessarily. Don't eat anything outside and upset your stomach. Don't forget to take your medicines.
• OK ma. Will do. Shall I put the phone down?
• OK. Take care of your health.

This is a typical telephonic conversation with my dear mother every 2-3 days. She is 83 afflicted by dementia, causing her to lose her memory and her ability to do anything for herself. Very often she does not remember whether she has any children or she thinks my sister is her older sister (who is no more), but till date she remembers that I am her daughter and keeps saying to my sis "Poor Satchi, she is not well". What I suffer from she does not remember. But she remembers that there is something that was not OK with me and she should remind me to take my medicines, eat my food and take care of my health. She forgets during the course of the conversation that she has already asked me the same question about 3 times. But.....she remembers that her child is not doing well and needs to be told to take her medicines and to eat well. My sister tells me, if I don't call for 3-4 days, she keeps fretting that I have not called, keeps touching the phone as if nudging it will make it ring and get me at the other end.

Need I say more?

A Mother's Song

This is a poem dedicated to all mothers of this world and their children on the occasion of Mother's Day.

Welcome my little one into this world

Hold onto my finger with your tiny hand curled

Hold onto it with all your might

Oh you little fairy, you're such a blessed sight

You are the very incarnation divine

You are the continuation of a line

Of daughters of our Mother Eve

You are the Mother Goddess's gift, I firmly believe

Those rosy cheeks, those inquisitive eyes

The wrinkled forehead shows you are wise

What are you looking for in my face

Can you read in it what my heart says?

You are the queen of your own fate

You will make with your destiny your own date

Go child, achieve whatever you will

Fly over every mountain, climb every hill

Do you want to be a doc, an engineer

An astronaut, painter or pilot dear

Would you like to make a career

For yourself or be content as a home maker

The choice is entirely yours my little star

I know, no matter what, you'll make a mark

On the sands of time you'll write your name

May success be yours, may you get a lot of fame

Be happy, be brave, my dearest one

My little sugary honey bun

You are my treasure, you are my joy

Who says you are less than any boy

Come, let me plant on your cheeks a kiss

This is my promise to my little miss

Darling should you have any fear

Know that your mom is ever near

I'll stand by you through thick and thin

No matter whether you lose or win

Losses and victory will come and go

Walk with your head held high even when you feel low

But for now my little bird rest

In your mother's arms, this is your nest

Sleep my child, you need to grow strong

You'll grow your wings and fly off 'ere long

A Mother's Plight

Today is mother's day.  There are many unfortunate mothers in India, whose daughters are deprived of the right to live even before they are born and who themselves are deprived of the right and joy to hold their little bundles of joy in their arms if they are daughters.  Unfortunately this practice of female foeticide  is very common even amongst highly educated families in big cities.

This poem is dedicated to these unfortunate women.

A loud plaintive scream rent the air

The pain was much more than she could bear

The life that within her had barely begun

Was not one that could be called "my son"

A daughter was growing inside her

A replica of herself as it were

This little angel she wished in her arms to hold

On this idea hubby and in-laws were not sold

Leave me alone, let my child be born

From begging and pleading she was utterly worn

Her job though was only children to bear

For her rights and opinions no one did care

A hasty appointment with the doctor was made

And so it was that on the table she was laid

In a room where little babies were born

Her little angel from her womb was torn

But who did for her screams ever care

Her pain was her own, alone to bear

She could rant, rave, scream or yell

Her life was one unending hell

She was obliged to give the family an heir

To fight for her rights, though, she did not dare

Did she even know her rights

If she did, why was she in this plight

Why is it that a son who worships his own mother

About the mother of his children does not bother

Why is his mother who is a woman

To her daughter in law so inhuman

This is a lady who was also once born

A girl child who was not of her right to live shorn

Where would this man be if she had been killed instead

Has this thought even entered their heads

The statistics are enough to scare

Girls as a population are growing ever rare

Wake up you ignoramuses, you better beware

Your race will be wiped out if you don't care

Women wake up, fight for your rights

Tolerating injustice, taking it light

Is just as wrong as being unjust

Protect your daughters is something you MUST.