SantaBanta Jokes -- The New Hospital Wing

SantaBanta Jokes -- The New Hospital Wing

Thevile Anante Taisechi Rahave

I suppose all of us wake up sometimes with a tune playing in the mind, which then keeps playing like a scratched CD. Today I have woken up to the tune of "Thevile Anante Taisechi Rahave, Chitti Asu Dyave Samadhan". (A strange thing - the mind. One never knows what it churns up, when or why - am not complaining today though. It has started my day on a blessed note.)

This line used to feature in one of the bhajans my neighbours used to sing every Sunday morning. This is a famous line by Sant Tukaram of Maharashtra (see below)

This is one of the most beautiful one liners by Tukaram. It contains the simplest and profoundest truths of life and means "Be as the Lord meant you to be, Let there be "Samadhan" (satisfaction, contentment) in your mind.

Look at babies. What do they want? What do they ask for? Do they want wealth, fancy clothes, fancy toys? All they need is for their hunger to be appeased. Finito.

What happens as they grow up? They see so many people with so many things that take their fancy, they want everything. Covetousness (the desire to have something one does not have) takes over.

Dissatisfaction and discontent faithfully tag people everyday of their lives. While I can understand people who are really poor, living in abject conditions being discontented, ironically it is these very people who appear to live contentedly with what little they have. How many times have seen little kids on the streets, smeared with dirt and still laughing and smiling, sometimes even through their tears? It takes very little to make them happy. As people start acquiring more, the greed for more is born. Even within the working class, aspirations rise in direct proportion to living conditions (of course, one cannot deny that the reverse also holds true and is also necessary for them to have a decent life style. Let me clarify here, this is not to say that people should continue to live in poverty - everyone has a right to live well). It is the definition of "living well" which is the question here. I somehow wonder at the dissatisfaction born of sheer greed in people who already have everything one can wish for and more than can use. Strangely enough, it is the very people who have power and who classify amongst the richest in the world who keep chasing "more".

How much does a person need? The fact is we can travel only in one car at a time - it does not matter if we own 50 or 100 cars. We cannot use all of them at one time. Try stuffing in more than you need, even your stomach will protest. You can only wear one set of clothes and one pair of shoes at one time. For all her collection of shoes this rule held true even for Imelda Marcos and all she got at the end was to get hauled over the coals. We need homes that can accommodate us and our loved ones. Do we really need 60 storey buildings with helipads, parking lots and the works? The question is are people satisfied even with this? Soon they realize the vastu of such homes is not suitable and set about building another such monstrosity.

And the greatest irony is after earning all this wealth - by means fair or foul - people lose their peace of mind. Then starts the quest for "spiritual gurus" - often people who are as fallible as their shishyas - a classic case of the blind purporting to lead the blind.

Reminds me of a lovely poem which brings a lump to the throat every time I try to recite it.

The Miller of Dee

There was a jolly miller once lived on the river Dee,

He worked and sang from morn' till night,

No lark more blithe than he

And this the burden of his song, forever used to be

"I envy nobody, no not I, and nobody envies me"

Thou'rt wrong my friend, said Old King Hal,

Thou'rt wrong as wrong can be

For could my heart be lithe as thine

I'd gladly change with thee

And tell me now what makes thee sing

With voice so loud and free

For I am sad while I am king beside the river Dee

The miller smiled and doff'd his cap

"I earn my bread" quote he

"I love my wife, I love my friend, I love my children three

I owe no penny I cannot pay

I thank the river Dee

That turns the mill, that grinds the corn, that feeds my babes and me"

"Good friend" said Hal and sighed the while

"Farewell and happy be

And say no more if thou'dst be true

That no one envies thee

Thy mealy cap is worth my crown

Thy mill my kingdom's fee

Such men as thou as thou are England's boast

Oh miller of the Dee".

Sant Tukaram (1608–1650) was a prominent Varkari Sant and spiritual poet during a Bhakti movement in India.

Sant Tukaram^[1] was born and lived most of his life in Dehu, a town close to Pune in Mahārāshtra, India. He was born to a couple with the family name "More", the descendent of the Mourya Clan (Āmbile) with first names Bolhobā and Kanakāi. In accordance with an ancient Indian tradition, Tukaram's family name is rarely used in identifying him. His real name is Tukaram Vhilhoba Aambe. Rather, in accord with another tradition in India of assigning the epithet "sant" (संत) to persons regarded as thoroughly saintly, Tukaram is commonly known in Maharashtra as Sant Tukaram (संत तुकाराम). He is known asBhakta Tukaram to South Indian people.  (Source:  Wikipedia)

The Ritual of Eating

After a very long time, I had the good fortune this morning of eating phulkas directly off the fire.  Being a foodie at heart, but a healthy eater by practice, I normally avoid using butter or ghee.  But the piping hot phulkas brought back of those eaten in my childhood with home made ghee on it.  A foodie cannot resist such temptations, but making a concession to healthy eating, I liberally smeared two phulkas with Nutralite (manufacturers are you listening?  You could consider giving me a small percentage off your sales for voluntarily promoting your product!!!!!) and ate it with piping hot mixed vegetable gravy (cauliflower, capsicum, potato, peas, carrot, beans and soya paneer).

To say my soul was touched would be an understatement of the day.  "Annadaata sukhi bhava" automatically sprung to mind.  It was a sudden reminder of the original meaning and sentiment behind these seemingly simple Sanskrit phrase which is so loaded with gratitude and fulfillment.  When I said it today, it came from the bottom of the heart and I really understood not only the literal meaning, but also the full contentment and joy that brings out the blessing for the one provides us food.

Talking of which I was also reminded of a Marathi prayer which we are taught to say before every meal in childhood.  It goes:

Vadani kawal gheta naam ghya Srihariche
Sahaj hawan hote naam gheta phukache
Jeevan kari jivitva anna he poornabrahma
Udarbharan nohe janije yadnya karma

This is a prayer which reminds you to remember the Lord when taking every morsel of food. It says, taking the name of the Lord while eating makes eating an act of offering or a "havan".  Anna (or food) is the complete God principle which bestows life on the living.  Remember eating is not just an act of filling your stomach, it is a yagnya karma.

If we were only to remember this everyday, it would help us to respect our stomachs and bodies and offer good, nutritious and healthy food instead of just overloading and stuffing ourselves silly.

It reminds one to sit quietly in one place in a happy frame of mind with family and/or friends and eat every morsel of food with gratitude to the ones who helped put this food on your plate and with consideration for the body which needs it as fuel.  Treat your stomach with due respect, not as a dumping ground.  Treat the food which you get with the same respect.  Don't waste food.  There are many who are not so fortunate as you.

Let us first thank God for having given us rains that helped the crops, the means to buy our food, the farmer who sowed the seed and harvested the crop, the bread winner who earned us the food and the one who toils in the kitchen to put the food in edible form on the table.  

Ayurvedic Rice

Of late I have been craving to eat something different - something that is tasty, easy to make and easy on the stomach. Besides, a constant topic of conversation on chats with my friends these days is "Food". Also being a member of the group "Foodies" on Facebook, it is always pictures of food, discussing menus, drooling over the simplest of dishes .......

As I snuggled under my blanket this afternoon, I closed my eyes and pictures of a simple, colourful, healthy rice floated to my mind's eye. Voila - a recipe was born. OK, you might say, what's so new about it? Just that I have never made it before, my mom has never made it before and I don't remember eating it anywhere else either.

Of course any recipe has to have a very fancy, "in" name.  So here it is "Ayurvedic rice".

So this is the recipe:

Ingredients:

A.

Half a bunch of corriander
1 small leaf of ajwain
3 curry leaves / kadipatta
1/2 green chilli
1/2 inch piece of ginger
1 tsp of udid dal
1 tsp of jeera
1 kashmiri / bedgi mirch
1 small piece of tamarind (to taste)

B.

1 small carrot
4-5 beans
A handful of sweetcorn
6 cashew nuts
1 tbsp chana dal
Salt to taste

Method:

Cook 1/2 katori of rice. Allow it to cool.

Fry the udad dal, kashmiri mirch and jeera and grind it to a fine paste with the remaining ingredients under A. Don't make it too wet.

Heat a tablespoonful of oil in a kadai. Fry the chana dal and cashewnuts in the oil. Chop the vegetables diagonally and add them to the oil and cook lightly with salt and a bit of water. Once the veggies are fully cooked, add the rice to it. Add the paste and salt to taste. Mix well. Close the kadai and allow to cook further for a minute or two. Remove it from the fire and serve.

A simple lunch menu

I love cooking.  Having said that, I generally love cooking routine dishes.  Am not a specialist.  My food is pretty decent and hence I am daring to write a blog on cooking.  However, this is the first time I am writing about cooking on a blog.  Hence E & O E.  :-)

Today I am going to start sharing some simple lunch menus.  Some of the dishes which are not so well known will be described with the recipes.

Today's lunch has simple chappati, rice, ladies finger, potatoes and cabbage "molagutal".  

"Molagutal" is a very typical part of the Kerala Iyer menu and is a generic term for any vegetable or combination of vegetables that are cooked in dal.  The various vegetables that can be used is a combination of cubed (small - medium sized) bottle gourd/dudhi/lauki or white pumpkin, carrot, peas, beans and potato, or just cabbage, or finely cubed banana stem or  palak which has been cooked and mashed in a mixer or in a "kalchatti" i.e. a vessel made of stone as shown below.  (More on the "kalchatti" below).  

Recipe for Cabbage Molagutal:  

Ingredients:  One medium or small sized cabbage.  

                       1/2 coconut (small sized) grated.

                       1- 2 red chilli(s) - to suit taste 

                       1 table spoon jeera (cumin seeds)

                       2 teaspoons  udad dal

                       Asafoetida (hing) - a small piece or a generous pinch.

                       2 teaspoonfuls of oil

                    Tur / Moong dal - 3/4 to 1 cup (vaati) (depends entirely on individual   preference)

                       8-10 kadipatta/curry leaves 

Method:

Heat a teaspoonful of oil.  Add the hing, jeera, red chilli and udad dal to the oil.  Allow to roast till the  udad dal turns a light brown.  Add this to the grated coconut and grind finely in a mixer.  Keep it aside.

Shred cabbage finely.  Cook with salt, turmeric and half a spoonful of sambar powder (available in various brands such as 777, MTR, Nilgiri's etc.  Can also be made at home.  Shall share the recipes of various masalas very soon) and the curry leaves.  Cook tur dal or moong dal well and mash it well.  When cooked, add to the vegetable.  Add the ground masala to the vegetable and dal.  Allow to froth.  Then allow the mustard to splutter in 1 teaspoonful of oil and add it to the molagutal.

The molagutal is ready to be eaten with steaming hot rice.

P.S.  Although traditionally no onions are added to "molagutal", I am no purist.  I do tend to add onions and/or garlic to it, if I want to eat it with chappatis.

P.P.S  The "kalchatti" is a very traditional container which is extremely versatile and can be used to cook a variety of items.  It absorbs a lot of heat and keep the food piping hot for a very long time.  It can be used for cooking, serving as well as for storing food.  It is available in certain places in South India like Srirangam (near Tiruchy).  It needs to be seasoned before use failing which it will crack as soon as put on the fire.  To season a kalchatti, a mixture of oil and haldi is applied to it inside and outside and it is kept out in the sun.  This process is repeated for 4-5 days.  Then water is boiled in it for a couple of times till any traces of fine stone vanish.  Only after this it is ready to be used for cooking.  A bit tedious, may be, but food cooked in it has a special taste to it.  I am a complete kalchatti freak.  

Another point to be taken care of is that there should ALWAYS be some water in the kalchatti.  DO NOT ALLOW ALL THE WATER TO EVAPORATE otherwise the food will get burnt and the kalchatti will crack with the heat.  It is therefore best suited to cook dishes such as sambar, molagutal and kadhi.

The kalchatti, being heavy, should NEVER be picked up with tongs.  Always pick it up using a cloth. 

Of course the "kalchatti" is not indispensable.  In fact very few people use them these days.  An ordinary vessel will do very nicely too.  :-) :-) :-)

Jaago India Jaago, Mahaan Bano!!!!!

One more Independence Day has come and gone.  More programmes on TV celebrating our independence and more shouting from the roof tops about how great we are.  More odes sung to all the glorious achievements of India and Indians.  We have produced the likes of Aryabhat who gave the world the concept of "0", given the world Ayurveda, trigonometry, chess, ....... (I do not know the veracity of all these claims - I have not checked them out - these are just a few of the claims about which we keep thumping our chests over the ages).  

All very fine. But what have we achieved or what are we achieving in recent times?  Does not help to rest on our laurels and that too laurels achieved by people in ancient times. How long will we continue to harp on them?

We talk of the achievements of Kalpana Chawla - she achieved whatever she did on foreign soil.  The opportunity to do so was given to her by a foreign country.  How many women or even men in our country have been given this opportunity here?  We boast of the number of successful Indians in foreign companies in the US or the UK.  Why are these people not in India?  What made them leave the country and go out?  What is the population of India?  How many people can we account for who have done something noteworthy?  What percentage of the population does that account for?

Leave aside our achievements.  Look at our politics.  Look at our politicians.  I need not recount a list of all the "achievements" of those "greats" who occupy the highest positions in our country.  It is there for all to see, on the front pages of newspapers every morning, on all the new channels on the hour, every hour and throughout the hour.

Here is a country that sends people fighting against corruption to jail. It is something the British did to freedom fighters. Anna Hazare is fighting for freedom from corruption. And our own government is sent him to jail. So how are we any different from our erstwhile colonial masters, nay tormentors?

Is this what the likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Nehru and other freedom fighters sacrificed their lives to get us independence for?

Look at the gross indiscipline on the roads.  Look at the lack of work ethic, be it amongst the poorest of the poor who work in menial jobs or people who man high positions in the government machinery.  Look at the corruption and inefficiency all around.  Look at the filth, illness and poverty everywhere.

Does the number of vehicles on the road, the number of mobile phones in the country and the number of television channels available make us a great country?  Or is it the number of malls that have replaced the "kirana waala's dukaan"?

Sorry, it is not that I am not patriotic or don't want to be proud of being Indian.  I am simply unable to rejoice over our independence till we pull our socks up and develop something called social and national conscience. Where is our honesty, where is our discipline, where is our work ethic? What about the moral bankruptcy in our country? How can we be proud of ourselves or ever look people all over the world in the eyes?  Forget others, how can we look at ourselves in the mirror and say "We are great"?

It has become our habit to revel in various "facts and figures" and forget what we as a country have to come to. It is just my agony over the existing state of affairs that makes me present these other facts here. This should be food for thought for all of us Indians.

What we really need to do to grow as a nation is to take a good look at ourselves in the mirror and see all the blemishes in ourselves. Only when we see our own faults can we really set about correcting them and grow into a truly great nation - which we have a immeasurable untapped potential for. What we really need is to develop something called national character.

Bas! Bas! (Enough, enough)

I love travelling, but have always had a hard time on buses. Before you all start writing me off as a snob, I would like to say it is not me. It is my stomach. It seems to have an allergy to any vehicle called a bus and protests at the very word. I can almost hear it screaming for mercy "Bas, bas, no bus for me" at the very mention or thought of the word. 

The history of my bus rides goes back to my childhood. Those days, cars too were an equally detested mode of transport. I remember my aunt taking me in her chauffeur driven car to Zaveri bazaar - shopping for my cousin's wedding - and I left my indelible mark on it by the time we got back. Of course with threats from aunt to make me clean up the car myself.

The next memory of a bus ride in Mumbai is of me - a 4 or 5 year old - going with my Mama. The bus breaked somewhere in between and I fell flat on my face. That was bad enough, but the outrage at such buses being called "BEST" buses was tremendous. "What are their worst buses like"? I asked when I got back home.

Back in Kerala, when travelling once by bus, the poor bald guy sitting in front of me was at the receiving end of my indignant stomach. Those days I used to be given lemon and ginger to suck - all to no avail. Many years later, when I was unwell, my parents struck a deal with Guruvayoorappan, that they would bring me to the temple (even if it meant physically dragging me) if he would make me well.  (Talk of corruption having reached the high heavens in India!) As consolation, I was given an anti-emetic. All along the way I wanted to sleep, while my mother kept trying to wake me up asking "Have you come to sleep or to see the scenery"? She conveniently forgot that I had not come - I was dragged along. By the time I got off the bus, I was sick. I was given 2 idlis to compensate the loss. After that my brain packed up on me and I passed out. But my parents were not to be deterred. Both of them gave me a shoulder on either side and dragged me round the temple.

Why am I talking of all this now? Well, just to explain why I do not travel by bus. For further explanation, refer to this picture.

That is not a great incentive is it, to travel by bus? This is what buses in Bangalore frequently look like. Besides, all the boards being in Kannada, I don't know where the bus plans to take me - up, down, left or right. Any enquiries earlier were met with the very helpful answer "Gottilla" (don't know). So my preferred mode of travel these days is on my Activa or by autorickshaw. 


My experience with auto rickshaws has been a varied one. I have shared this previously in "10 Golden Rules of Auto-rickshaw etiquettes". Yesterday I needed to go to the old part of the city for some work and so hired one. The driver stopped midway and explained with a sweet smile that his accelerator cable was broken. So I was grateful to get off. Unfortunately other drivers did not share my enthusiasm to go to the part of town where I needed to go. Just as I was wondering what to do, a bus came along. I enquired if it was going to Town Hall and when the answer was in the affirmative, I made to enter, but the bus started moving. Not one to be deterred, I actually managed to jump onto it all the same. That was a major achievement which made me feel good about myself. I have not become as old as I imagined. And the bigger achievement was the fact that without a word, I managed to get the conductor to stop the bus once again - he probably is not used to seeing middle aged women try such stunts. The other achievement was the fact that my stomach did not actually protests too loudly - it just went into a major sulk for the rest of the day. I can deal with that. Maybe it is mellowing down with age. 


In any case, I am extremely grateful to the rickshaw driver for helping me rediscover my innate gifts (jumping onto moving buses) as well as for saving me a fairly goodish pile. 


Maybe in due course of time, I will muster the courage to step into a bus once again. In fact, one of these days I plan to buy myself a monthly pass, go on every bus in town to find out where it goes and where all it stops. It will spare you the need to read all this stuff here - I will be too busy travelling to write and my tum like the proverbial shrew will be tamed too. 

How I did not become a Journalist

I had just finished my B.Sc. I wanted to try for a seat for M.Sc at the University of Pune. Unfortunately the seats were limited, and I was not as good as the others who tried that year. I was at a loss of what to do further. The future seemed bleak.

The newspaper carried an advertisement for a course in Journalism. I thought I would give it a try. People at home were certain I would not make it. Not one who was never interested in the news, never read the newspaper etc. Not one whose general knowledge did not extend beyond the area in which she lived.

Anyway, I decided to take the entrance test. I did not have anything to lose. Believe me, this is the best position to be in. It makes one take risks one would otherwise hesitate to take.

Next day I went for the test. There were objective questions and multiple choice questions. There was a question "Who was the Frontier Gandhi"? Search me. I was aware of only Mahatma Gandhi. Although I had heard of Frontier Gandhi, I had no clue who it was. For some reason a voice whispered in my head "Say Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan". I thought I would once listen to someone. Anyone reading it would be unknown to me, so I had the immunity of anonymity, so who cared if it were right or wrong.

After I went home, I faced another Spanish inquisition about what questions were asked. When I came to Frontier Gandhi, there were curious looks and I was asked "and, what did you write"? Imagine my relief when I found out that my thukka was right. Next day there was a list of candidates who could attend a viva.

I was there early enough to check out the list and imagine my surprise to see my name on the list. One of my classmates who had done her Microbiology was there (although she had got admission for M.Sc.). What a waste I had thought. Anyway. I went for the interview. It went this way:

(I = Interviewer S = Satchi)

I: What have you studied?

S: I have done my B.Sc in Microbiology.

I: Then why do you want to do Journalism?

S: I did not get admission for M.Sc and thought this would be something that would interest me.

I: What newspapers do you read?

S: Indian Express and Poona Herald.

I: Poona Herald?

S: Sorry, Maharashtra Herald. (The name had been changed a few months before that).

I: Then why did you say Poona Herald?

S: Force of habit. Old habits die hard.

I: OK. How many columns does the paper have?

S: I read the paper. I did not count the number of columns.

I: So what do you read?

S: I read who died, who murdered whom, Mandrake the Magician and Mickey Mouse.

I looks like he wants to leave the room and take in some fresh air (or at least I think so).

I went home and was again faced an inquisition. When they heard what all I had answered, all hell broke loose and I was told I could forget any hope of getting on the course.

Next day I went to look for the results. You could have knocked me down with a feather when I found my name on the list of people selected. My friend was also selected and I was happy, I would have my close friend with me in this course.

The course started. I went to class and took my seat. The first lecturer walked in. He was the editor of a very reputed Marathi newspaper. (He was also the one who had interviewed me).

The first thing he did was look around the class and said "My God, this class is full of girls. I do not feel inspired at all when I have to teach girls, because you will do the course, quit and get married". I was shocked.

After the class was over, there were 5 minutes for the next lecturer to arrive. I thought over my course of action. I could not bring myself to learn anything under such an MCS. My mind was made up. I went straight back home and decided I did not want to be a student to this kind of a teacher. My friend later on told me that they had made him eat his words packed in newspaper covered with printers' ink.

Well, I could say "My Loss". But that is in retrospect. May be I was never destined to be a journalist. My name is not Barkha Dutt. May be it could have been Geetanjali Aiyer.

P.S. My friend finished her journalism, did her B.Ed and has been teaching in a school for the last 25 years.

July 4 celebrations in Manhattan

Today being the 4th of July, thought I would share a couple of clippings of the fireworks and celebrations in Manhattan on the same day 2 years ago i.e. in 2009.

Punyachi por

I come from the city of Pune
Jethe mhane kahi nahi une
But now I live in Bangalore
Though ever a Punekar to the core
Sutat nahi kadhihi bandhan june

Me aahe Punyachi por
Jithoon aale pushkal mothe thor
Of Pune I am proud
And I'll say that clear and loud
I miss you dear Pune very sore